Thursday, December 20, 2012

Pondering with a Purpose--Overcoming Loss

This Week's prompt is: Overcoming Loss

Through the years, I have had many losses.  My parents and a sister passed away, my little sister abandoned the family, my husband divorced me after twenty two years, I have had severe financial losses, two of my children became addicted to drugs, I lost my job after 11 years due to downsizing, and I have had health issues.

WAIT! Don't grab for the Kleenex, because it is all good.  I can hear you say, "Man that chick is crazy, somebody call the doctor.  Get a padded cell ready!"  

But I have so much to be thankful for.  My family that died are all in heaven where there is no pain.  Even though I am single, I have learned to live independently and enjoy it.  I now have enough money to pay the bills, and if I am careful enough to take a vacation each year.  My wayward children turned their lives around, and now are productive citizens and through their experiences are able to help others.  That job that I lost was one of the best things that happened to me. After a year of temporary jobs and some unemployment, I got a job that was challenging, rewarding, and a boss who gave me freedom to take her practice to new heights.  I retired after twelve years with the satisfaction of a job well done.  The health thing, well that is ongoing but I am able to do the things that I love.

Now, I want you to understand that the road that I traveled was not easy and not without tears and heartache.  Often, I didn't know how I was going to manage from one day to the next, but I did.  I realized that trouble is a part of life--no one is exempt.  With my losses, I have found a formula that works for me.  First of all, I have to take care of me--eat, get enough sleep, and get out and exercise.  Second, realize that there are givens in life David Richo, a former Catholic priest in Boston then became a psychologist and turned Zen, has come up with five: “The Givens of Life and Things We Cannot Change”
     1. Everything changes and ends
     2. Suffering is part of growth
     3. Things do not always go according to plan
     4. Things are not always fair
     5. People are not loving and loyal all the time
Third, I allowed myself to express my emotions,  I cried, I was angry, I ranted.  Then I remember the good things about the reason that I was grieving, and being the artistic person that I am I made a memory book of the good things.  Fifth, and probably the hardest, I didn't dwell on the loss, but made a conscious effort to move on.  If I have done a wrong, I ask for forgiveness from God and if possible that person.  Above all I have my faith in God who I know stands beside me always no matter what I am going through.  Looking back, my life has been enriched through my losses.


  1. I like the list of things we can't change - how true those are.

  2. What is the saying "If it doesn't kill us , it will make us stonger" You did it!

  3. Marti... I love this post and although I have not suffered all of the losses you mentioned I believe that moving on, growing and learning from losses and mistakes is what makes us who we are. I OFTEN times tell my children that it is not the problem you are facing, but rather the way you handle that problem that will make you a better person.

    Merry Christmas and thank you for Pondering with me this year! I really appreciate it!

  4. What a marvellous, wonderful outlook! love, love this. so many people could truly benefit from such sound advice. Time and chance happens to all of us in this world: what are we going to do with the time and chances that are given to us? that determines our character.

  5. I really liked what you shared today Marti. All very powerful and I am going to copy down that list. I think I need to have it tattooed on my head.
    I think really the beauty of life is being a overcomer and that of all of the things you shared comes through loud and clear. Thank you so much for sharing this today.

  6. Marti- I don't always comment when I pop by but this is certainly a good lesson in perseverance and the depth of the human spirit to overcome. You came out on top in spite of ALL the things that have happened over the years- xo Diana

  7. What a life you have had but as you said the Lord gives you the strength isn't He an awesome God? bless you and keep you. wonderful pondering:)